A Long Walk

I pick up my things: cigar, cutter, lighter, sunglasses and cell phone. Everything is stowed away in my pockets and I begin to leave.

“ Where are you going?” Dad asks but I don’t quite hear what he says. He repeats himself and I explain I’m going for a walk down the beach, not taking the car, be back later. “Alright” he chuckles at my slight deafness and I walk out the front door. I start to meander down the dirt road towards the beach. It’s hot and humid but there’s just enough wind to keep me cool. I’ve got my sunglasses on, Wal-mart aviators with solid white frames. Blake helped me pick them out. A boy rides past me on a scooter. He can’t tell where my eyes are but maybe he’ll smile… never mind. I continue to walk and the wind picks up. I can hear the waves. A girl drives up in a giant truck and parks. It’s a Chevy I think. She steps down and walks by. She’s cute and quite tan. She’s wearing a colorful dress with all the shades of fire. I’m not sure she cares I’m here at all. I continue down towards the water. I finally reach the dock and my sandals are talking.

“Flip! Flop! Flip! Flop,” go figure.

There’s a family taking some pictures on the boardwalk , but the girls don’t seem into it.

“Stop crossing your arms! Put your arms down!” the father is trying to take a picture.

“You look like you’re scowling,” the mother is the prep team but isn’t doing a great job. The girls are probably too young to understand, not in the mood for pictures. I slip off my shoes and I go down into the sand and take the cigar out of my right pocket. It’s darker than I remember. I’ve had this one more than once. I take out my cutter and position it just right to cut without unraveling the leaves. Perfect. I take off the stickers one by one. First the one that says “Rocky Patel,” then the one that reads “Vintage 1992.” I love this cigar. I take out my lighter and begin to puff away to get it started. I can’t see the signature blue flame but I can hear it and I taste the smoke. It’s familiar. It’s lit and I start to stumble through the sand thinking where I’m going to go and how I’ll know when I’m back. What? I won’t get lost, there’s a huge flow of water from the ocean to an inlet that’s right beside our boardwalk. I start to make my way closer to the shore and I begin walking towards the west watching the sun go down. Another family is taking pictures in the classic white and khaki. They’re using piece of driftwood for scenery. How convenient. I wonder if they knew it was on fire just a few days ago from the fireworks on the 4^th. What does that mean?

I keep puffing away. I finally get to some more solid sand as I get closer to the water. There’s still seaweed everywhere but the rank, sour smell is gone. I see people relaxing. Kids are building sandcastles. Many are walking their dogs. There’s a miniature greyhound, a Shih Tzu. A group of pretty girls in bikinis is just ahead of me. What do I do? Why do I care? I try and act casual while I walk by smoking my cigar. Please acknowledge me…

I see a group of people gathered. There are chairs and one of those frames. What are they called? Something Jewish? Thanks Gilmore Girls. It must be a wedding but I see no bride or groom. Perhaps they’re coming. I ash the cigar. Tons more families are taking pictures. Black and khaki, white and khaki, all white, muted colors. It’s the gray spectrum… and khaki. So many memories for so many people are being made right at this moment. I wish I had someone with me. I can’t hear much because the waves are so loud. That’s alright. I dodge this way and that trying not to end up in too many pictures. There’s a good chance I’m in a few. Fun! I’m starting to sweat profusely, but I don’t mind. I feel wonderful. Usually I’m at least a little upset about something. I’m uncomfortable, or I want to pick a fight with some guy who looks like he needs it. That’s not the case today. Why would I be angry? Should I be? No. I ash some more and continue to puff away. About halfway there. A huge group notices me up ahead. They’re pointing at my cigar. It’s a big group of adults. What are they talking about? I don’t care. LSU fans.

I see tons of kids building sandcastles. They’re focused like they’re constructing the Eiffel tower. Attention to detail is key. Yet they’re having so much fun. I miss that. Am I not allowed to be a child anymore? Surely I can be sometimes. It’s hard. So many expectations. There’s a woman relaxing in a chair surrounded by children next to her husband. She’s pregnant, VERY pregnant. She sits and lets her tummy relax between her knees. She’s beautiful. She seems not to be worried about her round stomach, as if it’s no big deal. But I know she cares. She’s serene. I want to be a father someday. The cigar is half burnt away. I continue walking and find myself thinking about this very thing. I should write all of this down. It’s so vivid in my mind. This is unusual. I don’t always think this illustratively. There’s a song stuck in my head. I like it there.

“I wanted love, I needed love, most of all, most of all…” I sing it to myself just loud enough for me to hear. These are the only words I can think of right now. Probably the only words I know. They mean a lot to me. I wish someone were here. I’m getting periodic texts from friends. This keeps part of my brain occupied. The cigar has hit the sweet spot. My thoughts start to drift away. I see a father and son playing, and the father falls into the sand. His son laughs with joy and they begin to chase one another. How fun. The scenery is gorgeous. The sun is bright orange behind blue clouds and I take off my sunglasses. How far have I come? The scenes on the beach start to blur together and I notice the cigar is nearly gone. I stop altogether. I take a good look out into the sea. It’s endless and I can’t begin to comprehend it. I feel the heat of the cigar on my fingers. I bend down to put it out and the tide takes it away. It’s time to turn back and see what I find on the way home. Home? Not sure about that anymore. I see a parade of different SEC colors and tents I overlooked on the way. Vols. LSU. Florida. I want to say “War Damn Eagle!” but I keep that to myself. Up to this point no one has spoken a word to me I’m getting close to a big chubby guy about my age with bleach blonde hair and earrings. He gives me a nod.

“I love your beard man! I wish I could grow mine like that!” he strokes an imaginary beard on his face.

“Ha, thanks man, I appreciate it!” I’m laughing and smiling. That was cool. Don’t get that often from strangers but I really do appreciate it. I continue down the shore back east. I’ve been following two guys for a while now. They just notice me. They’re drinking and chatting about something. Still can’t hear. I see the bride and groom from what I thought was a wedding the first time around. The ceremony is over and they’re having pictures taken down by the ocean. He looks unhappy, sort of irritated. I hope he really loves her. Not that it’s likely he doesn’t. I hope not. What a huge step.

There’s a girl my age sitting and playing with some sand. She’s alone but she smiles when I approach. She’s wearing a peach top with a black bottom. I want to sit down and chat but I’m too afraid. Plus now I’m sweating even worse than I was before. The back of my neck is drenched. I wipe my hair up and out of my face. There’s a man with who’s enjoying the wind and ocean.

“How’s it going?”

“Great! How about yourself?”

“Just wonderful,” he tips his glass of wine to me. Everyone seems much friendlier on the way back. Maybe the sunglasses make me less approachable. I’m not sure. I hike up the beach and pass the older gentleman so they can now follow me. It’s only fair we both have a turn right? I’m still wishing some was here alongside me. I’m getting closer to the end. Maybe it’s the beginning. Still people are flooding the beach with bright outfits and cameras. It’s that time of day. I see a man walking with a golden retriever. No leash. The dog is very old. You can tell by the way it hobbles in the sand and the grey features in its face.

“Over here Maggie,” he tries to get her attention but she’s fascinated with the scenery. I love the name Maggie. I’m almost to the inlet. I see another couple that must have recently gotten married.

“Congratulations,” I want to say as I pass by but the words don’t come out. He’s dressed in some form of military outfit. They look incredibly happy together. Like they could talk to each other forever. This is brightening my day. Two photographers circle around them with cameras.

“I feel like Troy, I can’t focus,” he says this but I’m not sure what it means. I trudge through the last few yards of heavy, dry sand and end up back on the boardwalk with my sandals.

“Flip! Flop!” I’m realizing that it’s sort of funny now. I walk back down the long dirt road. A small car flies by me. Probably inches from knocking me over. I’m overflowing with thoughts. It’s getting dark. I walk in the front door.

“You look like you’ve been running,” my dad’s in a different spot from when I left. He’s closer to Mom. They’re watching Hitch. I love this movie.
“Nope it’s just very hot out there.” I was drenched at this point. I picked up my journal and dried myself off. Then I pulled out my pen and started writing this story. I am still wishing someone was here with me. Then I realized, you’ve been listening this whole time.

A Breath of Fresh Air

So lately I've been discovering lots of new things about myself and my relationships. It's been an especially hard last week just trying to readjust to the fact that I want God to be prominent in my life. But after a run in last night with some of my biggest fears I had to really take a good look at myself and instead of trying to control all of my problems I had to figure out how to find some peace. So I went to my journal which for me has been a book of anecdotes and views on the world simply as it were. I've never done this before, but I'm going to share with you the entry that I wrote very early this morning. So this is the first public "broadcast" of the journal of Marcus Clement.

"I have a crippling fear of being alone. I'm afraid that I will never find the girl I love who loves me back. Yet, I know God put us here together on purpose. He never intended for us to be alone. He put us here like this because he knew us and what we needed. He knew we'd need family, companionship, brotherhood, and love. That's exactly why we need him. And he knew that too. Your life is going to be a series of challenges that you must overcome. However, when you find yourself pouring your soul out to someone you love, all the dark stuff comes out with it too. Whether you realize it or not each and every one of us has an issue that we will spend the rest of our lives with. Hopefully we will use that time trying to beat those pains. But the greatest bit of all is that we don't have to do it alone. God gave us family, friends and spouses to encourage us and help us defeat the monsters that haunt us daily. But even better still is that he is also there with us every step of the way to guide us to peace. I want to share a verse with you that has become an instant inspiration to me in a dark time...
'The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.'
- Zephaniah 3:17
My mother shared this verse with me today and I will never forget its message. The part that sticks to me the most is 'he will quiet you by his love.' In times of hardship we cry, scream, mourn, whimper and sigh. But his love will quiet you. It takes away the sadness, anger, loss, stress, and worry. He takes all that away in exchange for a quiet moment of peace. Ladies and gents he does this for free. Don't pass up an opportunity like this in your life. Let him take your burdens away and make you whole. There's a wonderful bit of peace to be had."


Well I hope you all enjoyed that excerpt from my otherwise secret journal of thoughts and ideas. I hope to be sharing more and more stuff like this with you as time goes and I learn new things. I hope you folks have a wonderful day and just remember He loves you and so do I.

Man weren't meant to be alone,

Marcus C.

Back in the Saddle

Good evening all readers, I have missed you dearly (whoever you are). It's time that I pick the metaphorical pen (which is actually a keyboard) back up and begin to write witty things to keep you all thoroughly entertained.

To bring you up to speed since my last update, We've done a hundred billion more shows at the Auburn University Theatre. We finished doing 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Fantasticks and The Light in the PIazza. Those are just the shows that I personally took part in. Now we're currently working on "90-Minute Butchered RockandRoll Boombox Hamlet"! That's right we have completely taken a Guy Ritchie (bloody) look into the world of the Danish prince and we're gonna rock the audience beyond all belief. The process is long and grueling but we're finding some amazing moments with each other. We open the experience on April 12th and will run until the 16th. I hope to see you there.


On to lighter matters, you see my lovely friend David Farris just being all glorious and beautiful up there. Well Just this last week He proposed to my other good friend Jordyn Culbreth at Disney World! I'm very excited about these lovely people getting together to tie the knot at last. We have no idea when they're going to do it exactly but you can be guaranteed I will be there to see this wondrous event. Make sure to congratulate them as soon as possible!

Let me know if you want to see this more and I will try to keep you up to date on the things happening in my life and hopefully some wonderful reviews of movies or fun facts... Who knows?

I like (love) parenthesis,
Marcus C.

Right Smack in the Middle of Anthropology

Good evening everyone and welcome back to the blog again. A lot has come to pass in the last couple of weeks since we last met. School has started and everything for the semester has been set into motion and there's nothing to stop it. Me and the infamous John T. are now roommates and I couldn't have made a better decision of late. Also, my 21st birthday is coming up and I am filled with joyous celebration in so many ways. I don't expect any gifts from you chums, but I do expect at least a good birthday wish and maybe even a piece of advice for growing older.

I have to put in a plug for a movie like I always do because I was so pleased with it. Inglorious Basterds is one of those must-see movies of the year and if you think you are just going to get a bunch of mindless action and gore... think again. Not only will you get a bit of that, you'll see a wonderful addition to Tarantino's archive of kick-ass movies. Brad Pitt stars along with a wonderful cast of players who you may or may not know: Eli Roth, Christopher Waltz, Diane Kruger, and the lovely Melanie Laurent. Like many Quentin Tarantino movies you get a sort of film that not many others will try. You have enormous scenes with so much dialogue that actually pulls you into the fray without much effort. With this film you get a sort of Modern/Western/Indie approach to a WWII era with his typical long silent pauses, awkward dialogue, intense character intros, and a cast of players that will allow you to become consumed with even the shortest words. For anyone who loves a good Tarantino film like Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, or Sin City, you will just as easily settle into this flick as all the others.

This semester I have already gone through the beginning audition process and have not been cast in any shows so far this half. It's a tough thing to work really hard with monologues and callback auditions to try and convince the director that you are perfect for the part. This is not an easy feat to accomplish as many of you may very well know or have experienced. It's a tough world within this walls never mind all the extreme competitiveness. It gets quite hostile during weeks like this and I can't help but think we need to slow down a bit. I know there's a lot of work surrounding us at all times and a boat load of expectations that scare us into a corner. But let us all remember how we all have our problems and projecting hateful attitudes on others doesn't really create that positive environment we need. This applies to everyone. Stop being such a douche for the love of god and start conjuring up a glorious good mood to rub off on everyone else.

I've been chewed out before,
Marcus C.

I was made for a different era

Good morning sports fans. I know you've probably been awake for awhile, but I'm a college student and most of you can understand this. It's been a good couple of weeks filled with school and vacationing to the beach. All I can say currently is that it's the weekend and thank God, but I've woken up with a terrible headache and everything is very loud. So besides the fact that I feel as though my writing sounds retarded and boring, we'll keep going with this.

I heard about and recently ran across an article on digg about a documentary coming out with Jack White, Jimmy Page, and the U2 guitarist. It's essentially a history of the electric guitar mixed in with what these guys are doing with theirs. I'm excited to see what's going to happen when these 3 get in a room together with all that genius and tear it up.



I also saw an article on digg about a lady in some foreign country that married her dog. Of course the page was filled with comments of people making fun of her and calling her names. She said that "other men are skirt-chasers, cheaters and liars", but her dog was loyal and respected her. The priest, along with a few curious locals were there to witness this unusual pairing of beings. The priest said not discourage her, because she found true happiness at last and why would you want to take that away from her? Pushing aside the fact that this is a bit unorthodox, the reality is that she has every right to be happy. There are too many terrible things in this world and sometimes the only thing left that will not disappoint us is the thing that makes the least sense. I feel like to the normal everyday person that believes in God but doesn't necessarily follow him, following him would seem like it makes no sense. Well isn't it so simple to drift day to day relying on yourself and your relationship with others. Of course! But where can we find out true happiness? Who the hell has the answers when all of this becomes monotonous and drains your happiness instead of filling it? I believe God has that happiness. Why would you take that happiness away from someone? Or for that matter if you had that happiness, why would you use hatred to spread that message? Some people are just too much. So think about that... love, happiness, and all. And when you really give that a thought... get back to me.

They call you Lady Luck,
Marcus C.

Oi! Put your bathing suit on Daisy!

Vacation slowly approaches and I feel as though I have the opportunity to be more free. Who doesn't love a good heaping helping of freedom? I'm not talking about your American freedom, but the simple freedoms we have to travel the world and experience relaxation. My freedoms can be found at the beach, which I should be at shortly... thank God.

I just finished watching the Last Samurai, and feeling inspired I turn to my blog while listening to a little Artie Shaw to keep me in good spirits. School is going well, and in fact English was cancelled today and I don't have class this or next Friday. It's really a blissful thing to behold. Unfortunately I need to come up with a rough draft of my 2nd paper for Monday. I'm writing on the problem of the failing automotive industry and what solutions are appropriate to benefit the nation. This paper is pretty much identical to the first one... oh joy. I haven't a problem with writing papers besides the fact that in the real world, the skills I'm not really learning are not really applicable. I can't imagine myself 5 years from now saying, "Oh thank God I know MLA format! Where would I be without it?" If that ever happens, I'm either drunk or sarcasm is BLAZING from my mouth. Either way, I gotta write a paper and so it will get done sometime before I have to turn it in.

Don't be ashamed of yourself for being human. Imperfection comes with the package deal. That's just the way it works, and I say it's more fun that way. Making mistakes will happen in the process, it's not like we just want to fail. I mean come on, even Hitler had good intentions and didn't want to fail. That's a blunt example, but the truth is we are all bound to be confused at what happens. We will be struck dumb and everyone will see our vulnerability for a matter of minutes. In those moments where it's truly lighthearted, just let it happen and take a laugh at yourself for being awkward. Expect nothing and you can never truly be disappointed. And maybe you will even make less mistakes because of it. Still... who knows? And that's the beauty of it!

p.s. HBO has announced Band of Brothers 'The Pacific' said to be out around March 2010. I'm really freaking excited about this and you should be too. It looks just as astounding as before.

My British accent IS real,

Marcus C.

Landmines....approach them slowly

I've managed to keep quiet for a week or so, cause I keep forgetting my camera everywhere we go. And how much more fun is an entry with a pic right? But it's the decision to not be lazy and update some folks on what's been going on.

Exam 1 for History, and paper 1 for English are on Wednesday, oh boy! But I have to say with all of the desire to stay in bed I have managed to go to every class but 1 and this will be a good way for me to be on a good track for next semester. This whole thing for me has to turn around in good fashion or I just won't have the motivation. Luckily I have my good buddies down here to lower the stress levels (most of the time) so I can deal with the early mornings and bombardment of information. So I can say that so far I'm doing great, but we'll have to check back in once I get my test/paper results *crosses fingers*. I can't wait for the day I can look back and pat myself on the back and say "Good form old man, good form".

I'm currently sitting out on the porch with a Trinidad cigar listening to Fitzgerald, Sinatra, Crosby, and Cole. It's pure bliss as always sitting out in the humid air with the thick leathery smoke, and a jones soda on the side to quench my thirst. The lightning is striking periodically and silently every so often. "Baby it's Cold Outside" is on the Pandora radio. I wish everyone were here to discuss God, Girls, and Games. Which I have now dubbed the 3 G's... sweet.

There's something about finding that solace in friends, that really allows you to relax and forget about the real world. It's nice to get away sometimes and really.... REALLY talk deeply about all the secrets and inhibitions you have. Our schedules often get hectic and we don't allow ourselves to break from the daily grind. While that's ok to really get to work and nail it, we still eventually need time to gather and fellowship. Get together and go out and eat a big dinner and don't ever once think of being in a hurry, which is another thing about this culture I wish could change. We have this idea that we must get in, sit down, eat, and leave. One of the best places to converse and exchange is at the dinner table. Why would we shorten that? I will write about it in the journal don't worry. But do these things, go sit outside and enjoy the world away from the internet with a cigar and talk of the old days. Maybe cigars aren't your thing, but maybe wine is. Maybe you want a coke and some pretzels. Do yourself a favor and do these things for yourself. Grab a friend or two and relax. No one will look down on you for it if you decide it's what will tickle your fancy. If they do, give em the finger! (just make sure it's not your mother or something)

Four fingers... that'd wake me up,
Marcus C.

Yeah... my foots in my mouth... tasty!

Ok, so I felt like it was a good idea to put a post up because I'm in the writing mood. And maybe this feeling will continue and you'll have lots to read everyday (whoever you are). Like I mentioned before nothing is impossible so be prepared for at least a collection of good photos, hopefully.

Today I woke up late and went to Chris & Fro's to go out and shoot guns at Tommy James' farm. This was good because we haven't had an opportunity to go out and do something outside the norm for a week or so. Unfortunately, after we had put a few clips through the guns to warm up, the bottom dropped out and it started raining like crazy out of nowhere. So we packed up as fast as possible to get back to the house where we listened to stories of firework battles and scaring the hell out of little kids. You should meet these folks, remind me of some of MY relatives. We took charge and went to Buffalo Wild Wings to compensate for our lack of manly acts from before. Oh yeah, and my car window had fallen down and half my jeep was filled with water (not literally but still). Glorious day, and I believe that someone stole my iPod and my firecrackers out of the center console because of that same broken window. Blast!

All I can say after all of that is prepare to be disappointed folks. Even when you are having a "lucky" streak my friend. Don't let your guard down. I don't mean be a tough son of the gun, that's the exact opposite of solving the problem. I mean, be prepared, simply. When everything goes your way just don't think that it all will be going well forever. But take it in stride as well. There is no need to freak out when in all comes crashing down either. Keep a joyful mind, and never forget that the Lord loves you, so you are never forgotten. It's a beautiful thing folks and don't you forget it!

Rigney is not trying to seduce me in that picture,
Marcus C.

What have I told you about thinking Harold?

It's the third week of school, I've watched more movies than I can account for (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang an instant classic), I have smoked around 5 or 6 hookahs, 6 or so cigars, 5 black n milds, and 3 pipe smokes. I've been out shooting twice, purchased a .22, searched high and low for ammo, bought ear plugs and a bag, and nailed the target. I have discussed and learned, the french revolution, the industrial revolution, Nietzsche, Plato, and major controversial issues. I felt like I have learned the most random assortment of things possible in 1 month that some experience in a year. One thing somehow baffles me....I'm not tired of it. I mean, I'm tired, but not of all this.

I think after all the films, smoke, noise, and education, I've finally relaxed and gotten right back into what seems like a "normal" routine. My days are numbered, so why not get out of the god forsaken apartment and live a little? Even if that means going over to Chris & Fro's late at night to watch Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire. It's an overwhelming experience, believe me. I ought to get a video camera to capture all the fascinating moments.

If only I had the willpower to deliver a blog post everyday to chronicle the events and allow you to catch a glimpse of the action. Don't hold your breath, but nothing is impossible.

I want to know how many readers I have. I mean, who is really interested in what I have to say in the least? I would hope most of my friends are checking this out at least to humor me. Maybe someone can enjoy it. Possibly I can start bringing my camera around with me to at least liven up the posts with some lovely pictures. I think I'll start doing that. In the mean time, don't hesitate to recommend this to someone else if you find suitable. I would love you for that... not that I already don't.

Do you know what nemesis means?
Marcus C.

I broke the freakin' kick pedal

For some odd reason I have felt like updating this blog every time I saw a new movie. And here we are again with an enormous collection of new films fresh on my mind. For those of you who are fans of movies like Fight Club, I highly recommend Guy Ritchie movies... any of them, except for the Madonna ones. This includes Lock, Stock, and Two Smokin' Barrels, Revolver, and Snatch. These movies are for the pros, and definitely not for the faint of heart. These movies (along with a few others) helped me renew faith in the movies.

I had the pleasure to see The Soloist in theaters last night and I have to say that it wasn't necessarily what I was expecting. Not to say that it was a disappointment, but rather a beautiful look at passion, love, kindness, music, and friendship. Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx help you float away into a world where you forget that you're staring at a screen of folks only representing the truth. Good movies are still coming out.... thank God. Also, I just looked at a preview for a Sherlock Holmes movie by Guy Ritchie where Robert Downey plays Holmes, and Jude Law is Watson... how quaint. I spend hours on imdb.com sometimes and you'll never believe what I've found. Just go look at who's been in what it'll surprise you and make you go "Oh yeah!" and "That was THAT guy?"

School starts this Friday, I'm trying my hardest not to dread it, but school is what it is... dreadful. I know I'm overusing the three period pause tonight but I feel it represents my voice well in an inaudible way, ya know since this is... inaudible. Anyway, if anyone knows anything about part-time job opportunity I would definitely be interested.

Elementary my dear Watson,
Marcus C.

It's about being cool and seeming right.

I just watched a fantastic film that I highly recommend to everyone, Thank You for Smoking. This film follows Aaron Eckhardt who is the VP of a tobacco research company who is basically in the business to defend tobacco. He makes a point that his job is to be right. There is an interesting scene when the character is spending time with his son. He begins to give him an example of what he does by saying that he wants to prove that vanilla is the best icecream flavor there is. And of course his son says, "no chocolate is the best." Then Eckhardt begins to question, "How can you prove that chocolate is the be-all end-all of flavors?" You can't we could spend all day running in circles. Instead he points out that it's all about having the choice of flavors, and he's right. I don't know if that's exactly the point that was made but I was just enthralled with the simple truths of the movie.

Besides the fact that I now know that it's not a good idea to debate with Aaron Eckhardt on any topic, I am having a wonderful time back in Auburn. I was never in limbo as I previously stated I was home all along and it's where it's gonna be for the next 2 or so years until I am holding a degree in my hand. That day now seems so much more glorious. If I could only get up for those 8 0'clocks.

Since being back I've enjoyed a Jimmy John's #11, A Niffer's Chicago Burger, A late evening romp through Wal-mart, and of course I watched The Dark Knight on the jumbo-tron in Jordan-Hare stadium while lying on the field. I've also had the pleasure of driving up and down streets with construction everywhere (this will never end I can guarantee you). But like I've said before I am home and it feels right. Who wants to get a meal?

"Cigarettes in Space... wouldn't they all explode from the oxygen only environment?"
"Probably, but that can be fixed with one line: 'Oh Thank God we invented the whatever machine...thingy."

Thank you for smoking,
Marcus C.

Spaghetti Heartburn is Key

Anxiety is a killer. I don't particularly know if this brand of stress is due to me worrying about getting down to Auburn or not, but I'll tell you one thing. I'd sure rather be down further south doing nothing than up here doing nothing. I know that last statement was pure genius so you don't have to tell me twice. My mind jumps hoops over the fact that I'm going to be taking classes a month from now and I have a full 18 hour fall semester ahead of me. I'm supposed to go back in there and kick tail as if I'm the best college student in the world? What the hell? I know that I'm capable of getting an A in every single class and getting done with all of the work ALONG WITH being in theatre productions and kicking butt in those. But come on.......the stress is a little bothersome and can you blame me?

The reality is that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I know what I'm capable of. But it's about doing my best because there is no reason that I should slack off because I think it's not worth it in the long run. It may not be that big of a deal to get C's in all my courses, but I can't go do that now that I'm revisiting the "bane of my existence". I have to conquer it. It's now my knight in shining armor moment, and the princess is the degree. I know... it's lame. But the point is that there is a greater good here to be conquered. And it's not really a literal concrete thing. It's more of an idea that consumes my mind and fills me with utter ANXIETY.

This has been a really odd late night post, but hopefully everyone will enjoy this short and sweet rant that gives a little insight to my emotions currently.

Zassi is Sassi,
Marcus C.

Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the dogs of war

So I don't know about you but every now and then I get myself stuck in the YouTube world surfing the visual inter-webs for something of note. Lately I have been running into a collection of vegetarian videos (along with some Christian Bale stuff including American Psycho clips) but that has nothing to do with vegans. I have come across this dude Onision... yeah I dunno either I'm guessing his parents were hippies, and it would certainly explain the vegan thing. Anyway if you have a chance to check him out... don't.

This guy spends a lot of his time making videos that bash everyone who essentially, believes in god, eats meat, supports this country, or has a brain. He makes videos starting with a legitimate cause, being a vegetarian. I find nothing wrong with vegans, in fact they are normal people that choose not to eat meat. I think that if it helps promote a better lifestyle then go for it I'm all for it, but I'm not going to be a vegetarian because I'm simply not concerned about it. And watching this genius's videos don't concern me either. Either way it's just another prime example of people who have no real education behind their cause (besides copying from what they heard someone else say). And it shows that ignorantly blaming people for random sins doesn't attract an audience. If there's no love in your mission, there's no mission, just a bunch of hate and ignorance. And how can you not be self absorbed when all you're doing is preaching about how you're right and everyone else is wrong? Is that not exactly the kind of thing you're tagging on other folks? I simply do not see how people can be this stupid. Excuse my ignorance but it's very sad. That is all for that *claps hands clean*

A friend recently told me that the people in the apartment below him were blasting music and wouldn't turn it down so he stomped on the floor. Then they turned it up and yelled "Is it loud enough for you?" He didn't reply but if he could have he would have taken his new 10/22 and proceeded downstairs knocking on there door. "Is this real enough for you?" haha, oh man, good times.

Think with your dipstick Jimmy!
Marcus C.

I suppose there are worse things

It's about that time. I'll be moving back to Auburn sometime in the next month and I'll be there all summer to pick my college career back up and keep truckin'. I'm ready to be down there with my buddies partaking of the leaf (no I'm not talking about Mary Jane) and listening to big band. I have seen the importance that college has for me and so I'm gonna go back and essentially kick some tail.

There is something about admitting when you are wrong and taking it like a man, that makes me cringe. I had to go through a whole phase of looking for work and feeling as if I wasn't trying hard enough or really ernestly looking for a job. Then I started getting in the face of some places and adding more applications, but no one responded. I stood back and realized that it had nothing to do with a bad economy, or that no one wanted to hire me cause I looked weird. God was showing me a very basic reality. I saw that I was clearly not meant to start my life in the real world like that so early. There is nothing wrong with playing the game a little and doing the whole college thing. In reality whether someone cares about my degree or not, I will be presented with new opportunities. I'm a theatre performance major for goodness sake. How can I not run into interesting situations. Rocky Horror Picture Show accounts for one of those things (I wasnt hanging out with Mary Jane then either). In all seriousness though, I have new perspective. There is an art to it, if you will. College doesn't look like one of those ridiculous pointless things I have to accomplish in my life to be someone. It's all part of the journey. Where is yours going?

I made a new picture for my blog up there ^^ I crossed out the eyes because I think it's not about what we see or literally perceive. There is importance in imagination and pure belief.

We should have been friendses all alongsies,
Marcus C.

It's not for you to decide genius...

For one, I am very excited to be using this blog again, but I have been hesitant in starting to write again. I think I'm apprehensive about how intelligent my blog will sound and whether that will effect how many people will actually jump on and read. Either way, this should be a fun journey discovering new things and I hope that you all can be a part of it.

One thing I have been thinking about lately is the role of the film. I've seen lots of different flicks in my short period here on Earth and I can honestly say that I try to seek out the meaning of each film. I want to weigh whether the director actually wanted to portray something or just cash-in on a terrible idea (a.k.a. Date Movie, Scary Movie, Put a simple adjective in this blank because there is no substance to this idea...Movie). This kind of thing I typically push off as cynical, sad, and a ploy to get people to pay to watch terrible movies like this. But then there's the critic. There are so many people or friends that I talk to about movies and whether they thought they were good or not. If it was a bad one I often get the "Oh it was way too long", "It didn't make any sense", "It was terribly done". But then I go see these films and discover that I think the exact opposite about them. I feel as though we have lost the true art of the film in so many ways. People don't use their brain to experience the movie anymore. They instead resort to using only eyes and ears. These are essential parts to taking in a movie I know, but there is so much more we are missing. A lot of vision goes into creating a spectacle like this so we can share in the creator's vision. I just hope that the art does not get completely destroyed.

There is one film in particular that is being worked on based on the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. I am particularly excited about this becoming a film because I have waited for ages to see something come from the mind of a Christian and see that portrayed on film in a very real way. It's going to be exciting to see this come to life and hopefully force people to think about their spirituality. It's going to be refreshing.



I would love to be a part of this movie while it's in the making. I would go as far to say that I could play a fantastic Don Miller in this movie. I feel as if he writes how I think, or at least how I wish I could think. If I find anything out about casting calls I'm totally going.

I hope you enjoyed a more serious entry about something that I feel strongly for. I will keep you updated.

For some reason I just don't like the pickles,
Marcus C.

Oh Crap! What did you do?

I am going to write more. Hopefully I can get more folks to read more. I knew I'd come back to this.

Weaksauce,
Marcus C.

Some video work i have done this summer

I smell fart feet,
Marcus C.

Well isn't that just peachy!

It's a new day in the summer of Student Life... we have just started up our 6th camp in Roach, Missouri at Windermere Conference Center and it's absolutely wonderful! It's wearing us all down as the time goes on, but God is gradually building us back up and giving us ample amounts of strength to take on challenges we thought we could not complete. After we finish up here, we are taking a 4 day break where we will go to King's Island and ride the biggest roller coaster, going to see a Red's game, and also trying to go see a movie.. hopefully Wall-E or Get Smart. I hear that both movies are great! So that's our first chance to really chill for extended time as a team and just load up on some fun before another camp.

The afternoon between the last camp and now was one of the most exhilirating days that I have had in a while. It was really a trip. We finished camp 5 around 11 o'clock and sent the kids and staffers on their way then head out to go to lunch with the team. Our group went to Chili's where Brad, Ian, and Gary had a coaster flipping contest. They got up to 23 coasters, it was ridiculous, you had to be there. We then made a quick slide by wal-mart to get a few necessities then head back to Windermere to party on the lake. We got ready and went to the inflatables on the lake and TORE THEM UP. I'm not exaggerating in the least bit here. We are all still sore from running across the slippery moonwalk and busting or faces over and over and over and over again. This kept us laughing hysterically at all the flips and busts of our clearly vulnerable running and screaming across the inflatable bridge. It was a fantastic 2 hours on the water and I have the sore thighs to prove it. Afterwards we all ate dinner as a team, and Adam prepared the meal. Adam went to a stinking culinary school and just owned some pots and pans.. and our mouths for that matter. Dinner consisted of chicken cordin bleu stuffed with ham and cheese, chicken linguine alfredo with spinach leaves, roasted red potatoes, koos koos, grilled squash and zucchini, carmelized carrots, and for dessert a cup full of cinnamon cookies, pudding, mango, and angel food cake. Amazing? yeah... you should be incredibly jealous.

After our crazy day of freedom we settled down and had some team time together and just talked about our thoughts of the summer and what we enjoyed, and thought we could improve on. Then we kind of seperated out and washed each others feet, fed each other bread with honey, joined in communion together, and just encouraged one another throughout the evening. It was much needed, and I loved that time we all spent together.

We are almost to our halfway mark. It's really not close to being done and somehow I cannot imagine that. But as always, your prayers are needed as the summer goes on and we continue to witness and live our lives for God in front of thousands of students. I love you all and hope to see you soon! Mom and Dad, and the girls. Emily I miss and love you with my whole heart!

Throw it under-handed!
Marcus C.

Don't be a Texas Tammy

I am listening to War of Ages on my old iPod... yes i said old. I purchased a new one along with a sweet neoprene case because my old one is circling the drain. I finally have my computer back after a couple days of repair. A new hard drive, optical drive, and OS update later I have my mac back and in working order... of course I had to completely start over cause my hard drive was wiped. But after that long disappointment I recovered my music and a few other items.... now I just need the rest of my apps. Computer talk aside, we are now in San Angelo, TX and if you don't know where that is... I don't blame you. We are about 3 hours west of the Houston/Austin line. Camp here is going great so far. It's hot as heck here and freezing cold inside of the worship center area where we spend most of our days, so there is no happy medium. And now it's almost time for student showcase where the students are showing off their odd talents... some of which are... well I mean it's still entertaining to listen/watch. I don't know what everyone wants to know about what's going on... so I leave you with a picture!

Flippity flappity fling flong,
Marcus C.

Christ is not a fashion, fleeting away.

A) I want ^that^ tattooed on me somewhere

B) Emily is gone again :( 

C) I'm listening to Muse

4) I need headache/heartburn medicine

G) I need escape

So it's the 3rd week of camp and it has been getting rougher/smoother in different and same locations. We are about to head out from Covenant and on to Angelo State in Texas and start a brand new camp. I'm learning certain new things about ins and outs of the technical world. I've been doing my basic video editing and shooting on random days. It's time for a little variety. Even though I am not the most excited about having to load-out/load-in all over again, it's going to be a great adventure. It would be really awesome if we could have camp in like... Jamaica.

I've been really craving to head back to Auburn for some reason. I wanna do shows, and be with my friends while we smoke a good cigar and eat a great burger at Niffer's. I wanna have my apartment back. At the moment I'm not really sure why. I love the people that I am working with. This may be my first real moment of being homesick. It's my first summer in Limbo. By that I mean now that I'm in college I don't have a permanent home any longer. So I am sick for a home that has no existence, and it's awesome.

We have about a half hour until worship and the band is practicing. I hope that everyone who reads this is doing well. I encourage you to invite more people to read as you see fit. Also If I can muster up the courage maybe there will be a poem or two in the future, or maybe a little gibberish. 

Saddle up your horses,

Marcus C.